I Hate My Building

There is an inherent problem with apartment hunting. When someone visits apartment buildings, they do so in the daytime.... when none of the neighbors are home.

I've lived in my current apartment for about two and a half years. I thought I had hit the jackpot. I love the area that I live in and I was able to get a special that brought down the price of a two bedroom almost to that of one bedroom. I was close to work and my complex even has a pool. What what! What I had not yet discovered was the downside... my building has paper thin walls and my neighbors suck.

The first thing I noticed were the people that lived below me. It was at least two guys and although I have no physical proof (because I refuse to interact with neighbors) I believe they were students. Why? My circumstantial evidence is pretty damning:

1. My apartment constantly reeked of incense. And I don't think I need to explain that any further.

2. They played video games VERY LOUDLY. This point threw me for awhile. I originally thought it was their stereo, but finally figured out they were actually playing Guitar Hero when my friend brought the game over and I knew all the songs but couldn't place where.

3. The one who had a girlfriend also had the bedroom below mine. And she certainly did not use language appropriate for an older lady. Or any lady really. Actually she was pretty demanding but you gotta respect a woman who knows what she want.

Then came the family that moved in across the hall from me. They had a little girl (not more than two although I'm a terrible judge of children's age so who really knows?) who had the bedroom right next to mine and there was a good two months where she could not sleep through the night. At the beginning I felt bad for her and her parents. It sounded like she was having some pretty bad nightmares and really what could they have done. By the end of the 2nd month though, it was getting pretty bad for me. I started sleeping on my couch and was seriously considering saying something to them. (Which if you know me, you realize just how big a deal that is) However, she slowly started sleeping through the night and I slowly let go of the hatred I felt for anyone in pigtails.

About a year ago, the guys downstairs moved out. They apartment wasn't filled for a few months and it was AMAZING! But then.... BUT THEN... came the family of white trash. A mom and 2 boys. The oldest in junior high and the younger maybe in 5th grade. They moved in during the summer and I have no idea how they did it, but they somehow made the outside step directly below my living room window the gathering place of ALL the LOUDEST children in my complex. Oh, and did I mention that the oldest smokes? With his mom? Outside said window? Actually, since it's gotten cold outside, they've started smoking in their apartment which of course drifts into my place. I guess they are also physically incapable of simply shutting their door and walking up their stairs to the front of the building. THEY MUST SLAM AND STAMP. This literally shakes the walls in my living room.

I believe it to be appropriate to say F my Life.

The Reviews Got it Right!?!?!

Last night I bit the bullet and saw Avatar. I wasn't all that excited but I had a strange compulsion to see it. I didn't buy into all the hype surrounding it and to tell you the truth I'm not a huge fan of Pocohontas or Dances with Wolves so I wasn't really convinced I would enjoy Avatar. On the other hand, it must be doing something right. It has made billions of dollars and people do keep seeing it over and over.

All the reviews I've read have said that the plot is predictable, the dialouge is contrite, the characters not developed... but it didn't matter. The visuals were amazing and while the characters still needed to be fleshed out, the setting of the alien world Pandora was completely realized. This interested me. How could a movie be so bad on paper and still win Picture of the Year at the Golden Globes and be positively reviewed?

Wanna know something? The reviews were 100% right. The plot was flimsy and I had seen all of the characters before, but I didn't care. I didn't look at my watch once or think "When is this stupid thing going to be over?". I was completely entranced by the visuals. Pandora was a character itself. It was also by far the most realized and original one in the movie. The 3D effects were not overwhelming and didn't resort to cheap gimmicks. There was nothing that jumped out at you. The 3D enhanced the world and drew you in. For most of the film, I forgot I was watching something 3D, and just enjoyed the clarity and depth.

My recommendation? See Avatar in the theatre and if possible, in 3D. The movie is not going to translate to DVD very well. It is truely an experience to go to the movies for.

Correct Length?

So let me ask you all a question... what is the correct length of jeans?

I have probably 7-8 pairs of jeans of various sizes and fits. There are a couple that seem like a little long. They drag on the ground and get wet if it's rainy. However, I also have a few pairs that seem like they're too short now. Like I've somehow shrunk them or perhaps they were always a bit too short and I'm just now noticing it. These pairs hit my foot right above the ground when I'm barefoot, so when I put on shoes it just seems like I'm waiting for the floodgates to open.

And don't even get me started on the different fits! You know how each retailer that sells jeans has different fits and types? The Limited has those different numbers, Old Navy has the flirt and sweetheart, etc... I wish someone sold The Courtney. I wish I could just walk into a store and know exactly what to buy.

Oh jeans!!! I both love and hate you so much!

Did I mention? I have some weirdo dreams

I had a super weird dream last night. Even as I type this, it's fading from my mind so the details are getting a little fuzzy...

I believe I was back in high school and I was best friends with a girl who I cannot place in my memory now that I'm awake. She was one of those perfect girls in high school that you know must have spent a ridiculous amount of time getting ready every morning but somehow makes everything look effortless. Anyway, she was complaining about her weight and I remember saying something about how I was at least 20 pounds heavier than she was. Then she whips her head around and starts laughing at me and grabbing people walking by to tell them that I was fat.

I remember looking down and I was wearing one of those loose fitting shirts that make any girl look pregnant unless she's a size zero. So I pulled it tight against my stomach and asked her, "See is this fat? I'm not fat. I'm just not a size 2." To which she responded, "Umm.. yeah you are fat. That (here she pointed at my stomach) is fat".

And here comes the best part... I started choking her. Something snapped and I reached out and started squeezing. In my dream, I quickly let go but when I woke up I could still feel the adrenaline pumping through me from the anger I felt towards her.

Now, I suppose I could interpret this dream a myriad of different ways. Perhaps on some deep level I'm uncomfortable with the way I look. Or maybe I care more about people's perception of me than what I let on. However, I will take one thing from this dream... If you cross me, I will blow up and sometimes will just have to choke a bitch.

Brisket in the Crock Pot

My mother gave me a crock pot cookbook and I'm slowly working my way through it. On Thursday I decided to try a brisket... and... it was delicious!!

Two quick things..... I was unable to find a brisket that was less than 3 pounds so I'm pretty much going to be eating this thing for the next week. And those things are expensive, yo!

A Walking Contradiction

On the left is my complete lack of any common sense in regards to cooking or anything located in a kitchen.

Two of my friends would always bring pigs in a blanket to get togethers or trivia nights. They moved across the country (to what I'm convinced is Dumpsville, USA) and I thought the only silver lining to this sad situation is that now I can take over the pigs in a blanket appetizer as my official contribution to all things pot luck. Not so hard, right? Just crescents, little smokies, and cheese. Just wrap and bake... Well, the first time I made them, I rolled the little crescents the wrong way and as everything was baking, everything unrolled. I had an entire baking sheet of a gooey mess. The second time I made them, I didn't spray my baking sheet so all of the rolls stuck to the pan.

And this is only one of example of my kitchen incompetence. (Don't even get me started on my multiple attempts at making Italian food....)

On my right is my complete fascination with everything cooking and kitchen related.

As I write this, I'm watching one of my favorite channels... Food Network. In fact, if I were to track my television watching I'm convinced I would find that I watch food related television more than any other. Top Chef, Hell's Kitchen, 30 Minute Meals, Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, Good Eats, anything on in the morning of Food Network (that's when all the cooking shows are!), anything on during the weekend mornings and early afternoons of PBS, Julia Child, Paula Dean! I'll watch and love it all! I asked for Pyrex, tupperware, and a knife set for Christmas. My next big purchase (besides the new iPod I have my eyes on) is going to be pots. I'm obsessed! I have vegetarian cookbooks, "easy recipe" cookbooks, appetizer cookbooks, weight loss cookbooks, and all kinds of loose recipe cards.

I've found only one way to reconcile my cooking ineptitude and obsession: the crock pot. (Yes, I do have a crock pot cookbook). You literally throw a bunch of stuff in a pot, add low heat, and 8 hours later you have a great meal!! If I could meet 3 people in heaven one of them would be the inventor of the crock pot.

And so with all of that in mind, I have decided to make my attempts at cooking and my crock pot dinners a part of this blog. Get ready folks because, yes, it is happening.