Happy New Year!

I found a couple minutes to stop and say Happy New Year everyone! Stay safe and don't forget... a new episode of Jersey Shore is on tonight! I can think of no better way to ring in 2010 than with The Situation and Snooki. I can always count on them to make me feel better about myself.

Falling Back in Love

Since high school, U2 has been my absolute favorite band. In fact, while in high school, I became obsessed with them. I memorized not just their albums but all of their b-sides and side projects. I bought books written about them, recorded everything about them off TV, became a very active member of quite a few chat rooms and message boards dedicated to them (not proud of that one), and generally lived and breathed U2.

Then I got busy. I couldn't just sit in my room and listen to their music for hours. I worked and went to school and had homework and what felt like a million things going on at once. Don't get me wrong. I still bought their new albums and went to their shows anytime they came through town but my obsession wained.

I am a bit ashamed to admit this but U2's last record No Line on the Horizon was released back in March but I didn't even own it until my brother gave it to me for Christmas last week. I finally had the opportunity to hear it all the way through in my car tonight while I was running errands. I was able to actually listen to U2's music like I did in high school. I had time to play it through twice and think about lyrics and digest the sound. It was positively amazing. I had forgotten what it was like to get lost in something so completely. I felt like I was sinking into the sound and the lyrics were wrapping themselves around me, pushing and pulling. It was strange. (Too Alice Sebold? Ok, I digress... Also, yes I was driving the entire time. I'm not what one might call an observant driver....)

Tomorrow I'll be taking a mini-road trip and driving for a little over five hours by myself. I have decided to load up all the U2 cds not yet on my iPod, cue up everything I do have on my iPod and get back in touch with music I once felt so passionately about.

For all you non-believers out there... I dare you to find a lyric more lovely than:

I've found grace inside a sound

I found grace, it's all that I found

And I can breathe

Breathe now

Or music more pleading and soulful than this..

Food for thought.

Stupid Healthcare

Well I did it. Tell your friends. Tell your Representatives. I figured out what is wrong with the healthcare industry. I am.

Well, actually what has happened to me the last few months this year is one example of the many things that are wrong with healthcare.

I am a completely healthy twenty-eight year old woman, but within the past three months I have spent almost $600 in health related expenses that were completely unnecessary. Ladies and gentleman of the jury...

Exhibit One:
At the beginning of October, I had some mild discomfort in my lower right side. Let me stress (as I did to my primary physician's receptionist) that it was only discomfort. It was not pain. In fact, it was barely discomfort, just a feeling of something not being right. I called his office on a Friday morning to try and get an appointment to have it checked out. I figured the peace of mind was worth the $20 copay. Instead, his receptionist said he had a half day, wouldn't be able to fit me in, and asked for my symptoms. After I explained my situation she (in her non-medical opinion) said it sounded like it might be my appendix. She would tell the doctor my symptoms and get his recommendation. After waiting at work for about two hours, she called back. His recommendation? Go to the ER. After wavering back and forth (I don't even feel bad. He didn't even speak to me directly, let alone examine me. How does he know the situation is serious enough to warrant an ER visit?), I decided to do what I had been taught my entire life. Trust my doctor. I went to the ER where I was stuck in a bed for over four hours. I received a CT scan, was examined by a triage nurse, triage doctor, another nurse, another doctor, the CT scan team (3 different people) and discovered... absolutely nothing was wrong with me. No one out of that entire group of people were able to give me a reason for my discomfort. I received no prescriptions, no recommendations, no nothing. I just left feeling stupid for wasting all those people's time and about $520 lighter in the wallet.

Exhibit Two:
Two weeks ago I went to an eye doctor for my yearly exam. During my examination, the doctor found something that she thought might be a hemorrhage in an artery near my optic nerve. She took pictures (price about $35), was unable to make a clear diagnose and recommended me to a retina specialist. Today I went to that specialist where I dropped a $35 copay and after about two hours was told... nothing is wrong with me. Yes, it was a hemorrhage, but apparently what I have is very common and clears up by itself. My retina specialist actually was surprised the eye doctor did "an examination extensive enough to find this in someone not complaining of vision problems or pain".

I am extremely grateful I have the health insurance to be able to visit all of these doctors and not go bankrupt. I will be the first to tell you that $600 is a drop in the bucket of what healthcare costs to an average American, and I feel lucky that this is the only out of pocket health expenses I have had the last few months. However, I am angry. I am frustrated. My insurance company is going to have to pay thousands of dollars for these two visits which were completely unnecessary. This drives up the cost of insurance and makes it less affordable for families.

I walk away from these experiences having learned a lesson. I need to ask more questions and be more invested in my health. I should have asked to actually speak with my primary physician instead of just accepting that the receptionist would relay my symptoms accurately. (Come to think of it, why was I even talking to a stranger who was not a doctor about my health anyways? Dumb move). I should have asked more questions about how common hemorrhages were and what would be the course of action if I did or did not have one. I should have played a more active role in my healthcare and not just allowed myself to be swept away and overwhelmed by my doctors. I know they have my best interest in mind, but let's be honest. They see me for maybe a half hour once a year. How well do they know me? I should have trusted myself when I thought a visit to the ER was excessive and a visit to a retina specialist when I had no eye problems extreme. Now I know.

P.S. I'm also about 80% sure my coworkers think I'm a hypochondriac... so ... that's awesome.

The Vicious Cycle

I live within a vicious cycle. I am pulled between my desire to save money by eating at home and my intense hatred of doing dishes. And when I say intense, I mean the same intensity with which Don Draper delivers a sales pitch to Lucky Strike.

When I toured my current apartment complex, I was sold. I love the area. The price was good for as much space as I was getting, the landlord was flexible with my move-in date, and she offered me all kinds of deals to get me in the door. One of the hiccups? If I wanted a unit with a dishwasher, it would be an extra $30 a month. I remember actually saying, "You know, a dishwasher isn't that big of a deal to me. I can do my own dishes, and I'll just save the money. If you have an apartment available without a dishwasher, I'll take it." This coming from a woman whose last 2 places did have a dishwasher. It is absolutely true that you don't realize what you have until it's gone.

I didn't fully realize what I had done yet. I was still in the honeymoon period with my apartment. And by honeymoon period, I mean the economy and subsequently my finances were such that I could afford to eat out the majority of the time. Then came a little thing called Lehman Brothers, and I had to start saving some cash. Author's note: I am in no way associated with the financial industry nor have I ever invested much money in the stock market, but I like to blame Lehman Brothers for most things that go wrong in my life. Papercut? Lehman Brother's fault. Bad hair day? That stupid Lehman Brothers always screws my life!!!

I began to cook more (and by cook I really mean heat stuff up because lord knows I can't cook to save my life) which resulted in more dishes. In the good old days, I could get by doing dishes once a week. Now if I don't do dishes at least every other day, everything builds up and, to say it delicately, my kitchen gets out of control. During these times (mostly Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays) I rue the day I made the decision to pass up a dishwasher. It is seriously undermining my thrifty ambitions.

LEHMAN BROTHERS!!!!!!!

Preparations

I made the decision to give blogging another shot in 2010. I have tried to start at least two blogs in the last few years and lost interest in each, damning them to the eternal nether regions of the Internet. In preparation of my new 2010 ambition, I'm beginning to write early. My thought being that writing the majority of the week before the big 1-1-10 will get me in the habit and allow me to fully commit to the process.

I am not exactly sure what I want this blog to be yet. TV reviews? A personal reflection from a normal almost thirty-year old living in the Midwest? A review of how Jersey Shore is actually the seventh sign of the apocalypse and we should all be running to church to prepare for the coming of Christ? A sounding board to complain about things that bother me? Hopefully something will take shape within the coming weeks and I'll have a direct to shoot for.

In the meantime, thanks for reading and I hope you decide to continue.

PS. JJ Jersey Shore! You know I am addicted to you and have already gone on Facebook and discovered my Jersey Shore nickname (C-Poww). Although, if I'm being honest ... it does make me feel like I've caught a VD just watching the show.